Post by michael on Nov 13, 2020 0:45:08 GMT
Yes, this will be me once I'm done typing out this confessional:
Anyways...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH we did Tribal Council. Oof. I'm still not used to that feeling whatsoever...like literally right when Ali started asking questions I pretty much blacked out and don't remember any part of tribal other than the votes being read. I hope I answered my question good LOL! When I say this is the most chaotic first 6 days to a Survivor game I've ever been apart of...I am not exaggerating one fricken bit. The twist is kicking my ass and I am just trying to pump the brakes on my game and refocus on what matters as far as relationships and not being so focused on being in control of every little aspect. If I don't do this.....I'm not going to make it 39 days....I will be med evacced off this damn island.
So what happened last round? I'm sure if you're reading this you know more than I do. Pretty much it seemed like everyone and their momma was in 3+ different alliance chats. Probably even more. So when you have an alliance with everyone...you essentially have an alliance with no one. And that's the story of Aparri. We're all playing so hard, so fast, for really no reason. And the worst part of it all....half the tribe is still SUPER quiet/not around much. That's the weirdest part of this group...we're playing hard but were also just like not very social. It's a very strange dynamic, I really do not have the words to describe it other than....Help. Help me please.
So Logan went home 5-2-1 (Suzi/Kaitlyn were left out, as you know) and not to my surprise, Logan went out with complete class by dropping the middle finger on Kyle and I. Whoopdie doo. Not the first time I've been flipped off in a game, and I'm willing to bet it won't be the last. The frustrating thing from my perspective is that I feel in my gut I made the right decision in voting him out and ending Gatorade Gang, but on his boot post of course he was all like " U KNOW WHO U R. U DONE FUCKED UP VOTING ME OUT!! YOUR TIME WILL COME KARMA BITCH!!". Dude. You made (from Kaitlyns words) 8 different alliance chats in 3 days! You did this to YOURSELF! You can't blame Kyle and I for not trusting the Gatorade Gang (even if it was truly your true alliance) when you had a shit ton of other chats with everyone else on the tribe and didn't tell us any of it....not to mention the numerous times people told me that Logan was throwing shade on me during the first round. Smh. Shit's annoying. Logans a good guy and I know he was dedicated to this game which I respect but he made for a terrible ally and I would've never trusted him in this game. So, I'm happy with how it went down.
Moving on...NOW WHAT?! Great question! I have absolutely no clue! Your guess is as good as mine. I still am BROing out with Kyle and we've been on the same page about pretty much everything so far (other than McDanks > Burger King). Like I said last time, I'm aware he's probably playing a better social game than me and that's fineeeeeeee I need to just trust in someone and he's the guy I'm rockin with. Nikki is someone I'm getting way closer with too...since I was the one to tell her she was the vote BEFORE tribal...I earned a lot of trust with her. She's also just a really dope person, I'm really not sure why she was getting such a bad rap the first week of this game on this tribe. People just thought she was super shady/bossy or something I really don't know but I've never understood Logan's hate boner for her. She's someone I trust because she's very blunt and will say it how it is.
Jordan = SKETCHY AF!!! It's so weird, on paper Kyle and I should definitely trust Jordan the most of everyone. He shared the idol clue with us, he voted with us, and he's given us no reason at all to not trust him. But when I tell you this guy gives off bad vibes....HE JUST DOES! Whenever we're on call with him, he shows no effort to really talk or smile or look pleased about seeing us...it's just so weird. I like him, he's a good guy like truly...but I just have this really bad gut feeling about him that I can't explain and have no reason for feeling. It's just how he plays LOL! He could definitely end up being an option to vote out if we lose....well I guess if we win also since we DONT KNOW IF WE WIN OR LOSE UNTIL TRIBAL. THANKS!
Suzi and I are getting littttttttttttttttttttttt! I really like Suzi now...yeah that's probably not something you expected to read here...SURPRISE! We're friends! She's really dope, I like that she really doesn't give a fuck and just lit up a J at tribal. No fucks given. We finally chatted after tribal and I explained why I felt the way I did about her the first few days and she explained why she felt the way she did. It was a lot of Logan stirring the pot between us it appears. But now we're gucci. Am I super close With Suzi? no. Do we have an alliance? no. But I do think she's cool and seems straight up enough where I'd be happy to swap with her at this point....oh god am I jinxing myself? Watch..she's about to screw me over!
Who am I forgetting? (thinks) (thinks) (thinks) (how many times will I type think before I remember) (thinks) (thinks) (think) SAM! Oh yes Sam. Sam is someone Kyle and I are working with together and I do like sam a lot too. But I did find out from Kaitlyn that she's in other alliances that she hasn't mentioned to us (whereas we told her all the chats we were in) so that's a lil sketch. I think Sam is with me though and we're still getting along really well. I think I can still work with her long-term...hopefully!
And last but not least...or maybe least...unsure still...Kaitlyn! The one who just got blindsided all the way back to All Out Season 2! Here's how I play these games: I blindside someone, and then whoever was that persons closest ally I try to see if there's a way for me to become their new #1. That's my GOAL for Kaitlyn. Will it happen? The jury is still out. She claims she will be forthcoming about everything moving forward and I do want to believe her because I think she's one of if not the best social player on our tribe and on a tribe with a lot of people who have a lackluster social game....it could be beneficial for me and help my game in the long-run. With that said...she's a good player but I only want her here if I can trust her. I started out at 100% trusting Kaitlyn then it went down to 0% and now we're about at 40%. If we went to tribal (which we will tomorrow either way) I expect her to be the name out there for the vote. The question becomes: Will I go out of my way to stop it? Is it worth it for me to potentially burn other bridges to keep her here? As of now? I am literally 50/50. Kyle and I feel the same way about her..probably because us 3 are the most active players on the tribe and there's benefits in keeping that around. But if I can't trust you, I don't want you here. And she's got 2 strikes already for me. Time will tell how this goes...I really do hope things improve and I am able to say I trust her because I do honestly believe she's a very good player and could be great for my game if the trust was there.
So as you can tell from reading this MLA formatted 10,000 word monologue bullshitting around essay...I don't really have any idea what I'm doing. And I'm learning to be okay with that! I am not the same person or player I was 14 months ago and I need to accept that rather than trying to be someone I'm not. Do I think I can win this game? LOL Probably not. Like highkey probably fucking not. I would probably give myself a 2% shot at this point...but hey...who ever thought Tony was going to win Survivor 40? Probably 2% .
Ok until the shit show of tomorrow - Goodbye!
Anyways...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH we did Tribal Council. Oof. I'm still not used to that feeling whatsoever...like literally right when Ali started asking questions I pretty much blacked out and don't remember any part of tribal other than the votes being read. I hope I answered my question good LOL! When I say this is the most chaotic first 6 days to a Survivor game I've ever been apart of...I am not exaggerating one fricken bit. The twist is kicking my ass and I am just trying to pump the brakes on my game and refocus on what matters as far as relationships and not being so focused on being in control of every little aspect. If I don't do this.....I'm not going to make it 39 days....I will be med evacced off this damn island.
So what happened last round? I'm sure if you're reading this you know more than I do. Pretty much it seemed like everyone and their momma was in 3+ different alliance chats. Probably even more. So when you have an alliance with everyone...you essentially have an alliance with no one. And that's the story of Aparri. We're all playing so hard, so fast, for really no reason. And the worst part of it all....half the tribe is still SUPER quiet/not around much. That's the weirdest part of this group...we're playing hard but were also just like not very social. It's a very strange dynamic, I really do not have the words to describe it other than....Help. Help me please.
So Logan went home 5-2-1 (Suzi/Kaitlyn were left out, as you know) and not to my surprise, Logan went out with complete class by dropping the middle finger on Kyle and I. Whoopdie doo. Not the first time I've been flipped off in a game, and I'm willing to bet it won't be the last. The frustrating thing from my perspective is that I feel in my gut I made the right decision in voting him out and ending Gatorade Gang, but on his boot post of course he was all like " U KNOW WHO U R. U DONE FUCKED UP VOTING ME OUT!! YOUR TIME WILL COME KARMA BITCH!!". Dude. You made (from Kaitlyns words) 8 different alliance chats in 3 days! You did this to YOURSELF! You can't blame Kyle and I for not trusting the Gatorade Gang (even if it was truly your true alliance) when you had a shit ton of other chats with everyone else on the tribe and didn't tell us any of it....not to mention the numerous times people told me that Logan was throwing shade on me during the first round. Smh. Shit's annoying. Logans a good guy and I know he was dedicated to this game which I respect but he made for a terrible ally and I would've never trusted him in this game. So, I'm happy with how it went down.
Moving on...NOW WHAT?! Great question! I have absolutely no clue! Your guess is as good as mine. I still am BROing out with Kyle and we've been on the same page about pretty much everything so far (other than McDanks > Burger King). Like I said last time, I'm aware he's probably playing a better social game than me and that's fineeeeeeee I need to just trust in someone and he's the guy I'm rockin with. Nikki is someone I'm getting way closer with too...since I was the one to tell her she was the vote BEFORE tribal...I earned a lot of trust with her. She's also just a really dope person, I'm really not sure why she was getting such a bad rap the first week of this game on this tribe. People just thought she was super shady/bossy or something I really don't know but I've never understood Logan's hate boner for her. She's someone I trust because she's very blunt and will say it how it is.
Jordan = SKETCHY AF!!! It's so weird, on paper Kyle and I should definitely trust Jordan the most of everyone. He shared the idol clue with us, he voted with us, and he's given us no reason at all to not trust him. But when I tell you this guy gives off bad vibes....HE JUST DOES! Whenever we're on call with him, he shows no effort to really talk or smile or look pleased about seeing us...it's just so weird. I like him, he's a good guy like truly...but I just have this really bad gut feeling about him that I can't explain and have no reason for feeling. It's just how he plays LOL! He could definitely end up being an option to vote out if we lose....well I guess if we win also since we DONT KNOW IF WE WIN OR LOSE UNTIL TRIBAL. THANKS!
Suzi and I are getting littttttttttttttttttttttt! I really like Suzi now...yeah that's probably not something you expected to read here...SURPRISE! We're friends! She's really dope, I like that she really doesn't give a fuck and just lit up a J at tribal. No fucks given. We finally chatted after tribal and I explained why I felt the way I did about her the first few days and she explained why she felt the way she did. It was a lot of Logan stirring the pot between us it appears. But now we're gucci. Am I super close With Suzi? no. Do we have an alliance? no. But I do think she's cool and seems straight up enough where I'd be happy to swap with her at this point....oh god am I jinxing myself? Watch..she's about to screw me over!
Who am I forgetting? (thinks) (thinks) (thinks) (how many times will I type think before I remember) (thinks) (thinks) (think) SAM! Oh yes Sam. Sam is someone Kyle and I are working with together and I do like sam a lot too. But I did find out from Kaitlyn that she's in other alliances that she hasn't mentioned to us (whereas we told her all the chats we were in) so that's a lil sketch. I think Sam is with me though and we're still getting along really well. I think I can still work with her long-term...hopefully!
And last but not least...or maybe least...unsure still...Kaitlyn! The one who just got blindsided all the way back to All Out Season 2! Here's how I play these games: I blindside someone, and then whoever was that persons closest ally I try to see if there's a way for me to become their new #1. That's my GOAL for Kaitlyn. Will it happen? The jury is still out. She claims she will be forthcoming about everything moving forward and I do want to believe her because I think she's one of if not the best social player on our tribe and on a tribe with a lot of people who have a lackluster social game....it could be beneficial for me and help my game in the long-run. With that said...she's a good player but I only want her here if I can trust her. I started out at 100% trusting Kaitlyn then it went down to 0% and now we're about at 40%. If we went to tribal (which we will tomorrow either way) I expect her to be the name out there for the vote. The question becomes: Will I go out of my way to stop it? Is it worth it for me to potentially burn other bridges to keep her here? As of now? I am literally 50/50. Kyle and I feel the same way about her..probably because us 3 are the most active players on the tribe and there's benefits in keeping that around. But if I can't trust you, I don't want you here. And she's got 2 strikes already for me. Time will tell how this goes...I really do hope things improve and I am able to say I trust her because I do honestly believe she's a very good player and could be great for my game if the trust was there.
So as you can tell from reading this MLA formatted 10,000 word monologue bullshitting around essay...I don't really have any idea what I'm doing. And I'm learning to be okay with that! I am not the same person or player I was 14 months ago and I need to accept that rather than trying to be someone I'm not. Do I think I can win this game? LOL Probably not. Like highkey probably fucking not. I would probably give myself a 2% shot at this point...but hey...who ever thought Tony was going to win Survivor 40? Probably 2% .
Ok until the shit show of tomorrow - Goodbye!