Episode Three

[kyle]

Me talking game with Suzi

[kyle]

I tried recording a confessional last night but it was totally incoherent because my brain is fried. Not like that stopped me from posting incoherent shit last round, but I figured two delusional video confessionals in a row might lead to a drop in viewership, and those dopamine hits from your likes are all that keep me going.

I sat out of the challenge tonight to give my mind a rest. I probably won't get on any calls tonight either, which may hurt my game, but I'll be refreshed tomorrow and I plan to use that energy to help me make up ground.

My position right now should be pretty okay. I think I've got good relationships with everyone, and while I'm not running the tribe, I do think that the current dynamic of the tribe is one that won't end up with me being targeted, which is all I care about for now. I'm just trying to get off this tribe so I can make new relationships at a swap. I think I'll be able to do that.

Fab Five (me, Nikki, Sam, Jordan, Michael) will probably talk about sticking together for one more round, and will likely target Kaitlyn, since I don't think she has many advocates within that five who would swing the target to Suzi, whereas Suzi has at least one advocate in Nikki. If anything, Michael and I would be Kaitlyn's advocates, but I don't want to put a target on my back by speaking up. I don't think Michael does either.

Earlier today, I wanted to see about keeping Kaitlyn in the game, but Suzi gave me some information (feels weird to see those words in that order), and it gave me pause. Basically, Kaitlyn spilled a lot to Suzi about me and Michael from when we were in the Gatorade Gang together. If Kaitlyn feels that her best move is to target me or Michael, then at this point, I need her to go. My alternative plan would have been to vote with her, Michael, and someone else (maybe Nikki? idk) to take out Jordan, but this new information changes things.

I think being blindsided kinda woke Suzi up. The game I talked with her today was the most substantial we've talked so far. I feel like she trusts me and genuinely wants to form a group with us, Michael, and Nikki. It's a pleasant surprise, since I assumed she wasn't particularly interested in working together. My reads have been off so far this season.

I still can't forget the awful vibes I got from Jordan during our "idol hunt" last round. I don't think he wants me in the game long-term, so I have to keep an eye on him. Kaitlyn throwing me under the bus to Suzi means I might have to delay taking him out, which is worrisome. Also, this is all based on vibes rather than information, so it's even possible that Jordan really trusts me. See above paragraph for my opinion on my own reads this season. Summary: they've been off.

I'm also a little more wary of Sam than before, since last night, Michael told me that she had an alliance with Kaitlyn and Logan since pretty early on. The fact that she kept that from us isn't horrible, but it's a little sketchy. I still trust her, but I know now that she's not telling us everything. Should've known that before, but again: Reads Are Off.

Now, time to look for the idol while the rest of my tribe tries to win immunity. Peace out.

[kyle]

damn thats a lot is anyone gonna even read that

[kyle]

My thoughts as of 3:52 p.m. EST