FINALEEEE

[chriso]

[chriso]

He will hold me fast
I'll be home at last
Not a loser anymore
Like the last time
And the time before

Everybody loves a winner
So nobody loves me
'Lady Peaceful', 'Lady Happy, '
That's what I long to be
All the odds are in my favor
Something's bound to give in,
It's got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time I'll win

[chriso]

imgur.com/a/k1EKodG

[chriso]

I... think I crushed that?

oh god oh god oh god FTC SCARY

[chriso]

me, immediately being nervous about the next obstacle rather than celebrating this good performance

why am i the way that i am

[chriso]

Dec 17, 2020 20:17:08 GMT chriso said:

He will hold me fast
I'll be home at last
Not a loser anymore
Like the last time
And the time before

Everybody loves a winner
So nobody loves me
'Lady Peaceful', 'Lady Happy, '
That's what I long to be
All the odds are in my favor
Something's bound to give in,
It's got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time I'll win

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THE JIGSAW PUZZLE WAS POSTED BY "HAPPYLADY" THAT HAS TO BE A SIGN RIGHT

[chriso]

update: i did not crush that LOL

[chriso]

im glad i at least didnt do a filmed confessional where i was excited about doing well at FIC lmao

[chriso]

this is so sad lol wow i really started to get my hopes up

maybe i'll go into jury and they'll be like "you wouldve lost anyway"

thats my best case scenario rn lol

[chriso]

im truly a broken man 

......what if i make a super emotional appeal to kyle

who knows

edit: sorry for being gross idk why i didnt grab a tissue

[chriso]

this is the final plea i sent kyle. i tried to lean into the emotions of it all in order to assure him i was being truthful. pathetic? sure. but who needs dignity?
---
here we go

i feel obligated to make one last plea here, though honestly i don’t know if i have the energy to do it. i’m fucking exhausted. been crying basically since immunity results came out. i’ll be honest, i’ve thought for a while that if i just made it to final immunity, that the challenge seemed to play into all my strengths and as long as i didnt fuck up anything i’d have it locked in. and then it seemed to go well today and i really thought i was going to win it. my primary emotion wasn’t even excitement though. while that was there, the thing that was most on my mind was how scared i was of final tribal and how i didn’t know what the fuck i was going to say. i genuinely think that i’ve played a super flawed game, and i feel like it’d be picked to shreds by this jury, and i’d have to hope that my underdog arc is enough to mask the various points i was going to be voted out and needed challenge wins to win. i started wracking my brain for arguments to use against what people would clearly bring up against me, about how i prepared for the challenges and blah blah blah

but then results came out, and i lost, and it’s been truly devastating. this is the fourth game in a row where i’m coming up just short, and i just don’t know why i’ve put so much time and energy in these to just falter at the last hurdles over and over and over again. and i’m not trying to be a sore loser and i am genuinely impressed by your performance it’s just….. been rough. definitely by far the lowest i’ve felt playing these games. which, by the way, michael was the only one with the emotional awareness to message me saying that he knows those results must be tough for me and that he empathizes. if you’re banking on him being bad socially…

so here’s what i have left on the table. as of this moment, if i go to jury, i’m 97% voting michael to win. of course i’ll be open and listen to everything, but i really find it hard to imagine anything coming up that will shock me so much it changes my perception of how he has been able to dictate the course of this game and protect himself from all sides, while also having superior relationships with me/trey/robbie than you or kaitlyn did.

but that could change. if you give me the chance to make fire (which honestly i dont even know what fire is in this series), i would be 1000% swear to voting you in the end in the event i lose. fuck, if you gave me that opportunity, i’d even be willing to try and subtly taint the jury against the other two in an effort to make you win. would literally do anything in my power, because that’s how grateful i would be. and if that were to happen, whether i end up making the end with you or end up on the jury, i would swear on anything that i would not make any mention of this agreement until the game is done. you could just say that you thought you had a better shot against me or whatever reason you want, and i’d go along with it.

having no knowledge of what the challenge is, i’d give myself 75-80% odds of beating michael at fire. i feel like that’s fair. if you’d agree, that means its a 20% chance that you have an additional jury vote and an ally in me from the grave, making pivotal points about how sloppy michael was and how much of a bond we had etc. the other 80% you’re still in final tribal with someone who played an inherently flawed game, who was going to be definitively voted out 4 different times if immunity results went another way.

i know it might not be the most honorable way for you to try and get the win, and that you want to win on your own merit, but it’s because of your skill at immunity and your relationship with me that i’m able to make you this offer. you said it yourself, you’re going to be playing from behind going into ftc, and this could be what gives you the opportunity to take that $500 and the title.

that’s all i got. i swear every word of it is true. i’m feeling so ridiculously low right now that being given one more shot at not failing for a fourth time consecutively would be honestly so meaningful and kind to me. not too proud to beg.

thanks for your consideration. let me know if you need anything else. i dont expect a response to this tonight. i do humbly request that you dont make fun of me for this. thanks again.

yours,
beep beep